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Welcome back.
I was 100% sure I was all caught up from our family’s surprise Disney trip and it turns out I am decidedly not, which is why this is (checks notes) two days late. I love you, I’m sorry, let’s talk about school buses and airplanes.
— Quinn
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THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND
If you are driving in America (something I do not recommend) and a big (or small) yellow school bus stops on your side of the road — or even the other side of the road — the next thing it will do is to extend its little flashing stop sign.
This is, as they say, the first sign.
Moments later, 400 flashing red beacons light the bus up like a Clark Griswold fever dream, all to make explicitly clear that you have to stop your car, right now.
And not like, a gentle Tokyo Drift closer and closer until the sign retracts, like you do every day through right-on red.
You can’t even call it close. You have to come to a full stop, like, pretty far away. There is no room for fucking around.
Now, the bus is yellow and the official warning signs are very, very difficult to miss, but in case you do miss all of that, you may notice all of the other cars around you that are already stopped. You’re welcome.
But if you don’t stop at all, well, the first-time penalties are different in every state. Some examples:
Ohio: A violation is punishable by a fine up to $500 and the driver may be subjected to a driver license suspension for up to one year
Hawaii: Fine up to $500 and/or community service
Idaho: Fine of $100 to $500 and 4 points assessed against driving record
Illinois: Fine starting at $500 and up to 90 days in jail
Minnesota: Fine starting at $500 and up to 90 days in jail
Mississippi: First offense is a fine between $350 and $750 and/or up to one year imprisonment
Connecticut: Fine of $450 for a first time offense
Arkansas: Can result in a Class A misdemeanor, a fine of up to $1,000, and/or up to 90 days in jail
In addition to the financial and legal penalties, I have to imagine — hope? — the societal implications of RUNNING THROUGH A SCHOOL BUS STOP SIGN are far worse.
I know my own reaction would be — at least — “What the FUCK are you doing?” Instant rage. Aghast.
Combine all of these conditions and it seems we have pretty firm agreement: