A scientific guide to the infernal fish of Hades

Hades is my favorite video game of the year, and I’m not alone. Many people have spent the last few hellish months battling their way out of actual Hell as Zagreus, the disillusioned son of Hades. The game’s narrative and its characters are so compelling that every time Zag dies and winds up back in a blood-soaked pool, you’ll want to get up and fail all over again just to reveal another fragment of the story. It helps that every fight makes you stronger and no two are alike, with nearly endless combinations of weapons, power-ups, and “boons” from various Olympian gods to help you annihilate shades and bone monsters on your way to the surface.

There are plenty of reviews out there if you want to learn more about why this game is great, or you could pick it up and see for yourself. But I want to take a moment to explore one particular aspect of Hades I haven’t seen discussed much: the creatures that dwell in the chthonic rivers of the underworld.

I mean, have you seen them? They’re the stuff of actual nightmares, and every time I catch one I want to kill it with fire, except that many of these beasties live in fire, making this a pointless exercise. So instead, I decided to get better acquainted with the hell-spawn of Hades. And after doing some research, I’ve come to a strange realization: Most of these life forms aren’t that otherworldly, after all.

Or put another way, Earth is home to a number of creatures that looked like they portalled in from the darkest depths of the River Styx. Here are a few things I’ve caught in Hades with my infernal Rod of Fishing, along with some real world animals that could absolutely take them in a monster battle.