#79: I dreamed that I went back in time...

This is a real screen-grab of the Weather Channel's homepage last night and provides in glorious detail every one of the zero fucks given by said organization.

Not the first time they've stepped to folks, evidently won't be the last. Respect. Even more props for their new in-depth series, The United States of Climate Change. Please dig in.

In other news, you guys are loving the first episode of our new podcast, and for that, we're proud, and thankful, and giggling -- a lot. If you haven't checked it out yet, please do. It's the story of Hawaii's accidental, shared, near-death experience, and it's tremendous. If you live on the west coast, it's everything you've feared for the last year, without the blood and gore that usually comes with a ballistic missile impact.

If you leave us a rating and review, Brian will come to your house and hug you.

But I can't promise he'll leave.

On to the news!


Listen, goddammit. There was a lot of good news in 2017. 💪🤟

Nine ways the world got better in 2017

"Across 26 countries that are home to the considerable majority of the world’s population, an average of six out of 10 people thought their country was on the wrong track (as of the middle of 2017). That’s more surprising than the US result because, despite the threats posed by the world’s sole superpower going rogue — admittedly no small problem — the planet as a whole had a pretty good year.

Before 2017 recedes entirely into the rearview mirror, let’s take note of some of the good news."

+ Famine, war deaths, pestilence, all down. Green energy, democracy, life expectancy all up. These are all things that contribute to keeping folks from rioting, going to war, and/or electing unqualified populist dipshits to the most powerful office in the world, with four thousand nukes at their disposal. We've had some serious hiccups, but these factors -- on top of the incredible science happening in areas like bio-tech -- mean if we can win this #raceagainsttime, we're gonna come out pretty good. 


However. The ⏰'s ticking.

Two minutes to midnight

"The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists advanced the symbolic Doomsday Clock a notch closer to the end of humanity Thursday, moving it ahead by 30 seconds after what the organization called a “grim assessment” of the state of geopolitical affairs.

“As of today,” Bulletin president Rachel Bronson told reporters, “it is two minutes to midnight” — as close as the world has ever been to the hour of apocalypse.

In moving the clock forward, the group cited “the failure of President Trump and other world leaders to deal with looming threats of nuclear war and climate change.”"

+ A few things:

1. This isn't really new news. Don't freak out. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, least of all our readers. It's just an allegorical recognition of all of the news from, say, the past twelve months. Shit's not good, and we've still got a chance to salvage ourselves, but it's going to take a hell of a lot of work, and so for right now, we're not in a good way. 

2. Here's the op-ed from the scientists, which includes 12 Nobel laureates, which I guess is just a thing they're giving out now?

3. It's not just climate change. In fact, as harrowing as +2° is, nuclear war is a much more immediate, and swift acting threat. 


Climate Change 🔥🌊💨

Things got warmer in your hometown this year. How much warmer?

"Last year was the second hottest year on record. In a database
of more than 3,800 cities compiled by AccuWeather, about 88
percent recorded annual mean temperatures higher than normal.
Enter your city here to see how much warmer or cooler it was."

+ Remember, science isn't going to change people's minds. When arguing for radical climate action, we've got to apply to people's values. What they can feel. Right at home. So -- bookmark this page. Call it up as needed.

+ Here's a bunch of other #vital climate headlines:

U.S. and India underperform in major environmental assessment (TLDR: we're basically last)

We’re about to kill a massive, accidental experiment in reducing global warming

Once We Start Geoengineering, We Won't Be Able To Stop

A Running List of How Trump Is Changing the Environment

Danish Wind Power Breaks Record… Again

Can Gov. Inslee deliver America's first carbon tax?



Is a carbon tax around the corner?

"If elected officials get their way, the entire West Coast of North America could be putting a price on pollution by the end of this year. 
As state legislature sessions opened this month, Washington state Governor Jay Inslee called for a carbon tax and Oregon legislators proposed a “cap and invest” system. 

Both policies are designed to make industrial emitters of carbon dioxide pay some of the costs of damage caused by growing levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, and to create incentives for them to reduce emissions."

+ More on Inslee going HAM on carbon


Fuck Cancer, Volume LXXIX 🖕

U.S. doctors plan to treat cancer patients using CRISPR

"The first human test in the U.S. involving the gene-editing tool CRISPR could begin at any time and will employ the DNA cutting technique in a bid to battle deadly cancers

Doctors at the University of Pennsylvania say they will use CRISPR to modify human immune cells so that they become expert cancer killers, according to plans posted this week to a directory of ongoing clinical trials."

+ More on the startups desperately searching/experimenting on early blood tests for cancer. And more here. It's VERY early days. But we'll get you one day, you bastard. One day.


False alarm! 🚨 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

False Missile Warning in Hawaii Adds to Scrutiny of Emergency Alert System

Why, yes, this is a repeat post, and yes, is a shameless plug for our new podcast! Thanks for noticing. You're the best.

In Episode 1, we explore the thirty-eight minutes when everyone on Hawaii, including one of my boyhood friends, were told, and so believed, that they were going to die -- by ballistic missile. Listen to his very personal story, now. Subscribe, share, review, and rate us! 🙏🙏🙏


Undersea quake sends Alaskans fleeing from feared tsunami

"A powerful undersea earthquake sent Alaskans fumbling for suitcases and racing to evacuation centers in the middle of the night after a cellphone alert warned a tsunami could hit communities along the state’s southern coast and parts of British Columbia.

The monster waves never materialized, but people who fled endured hours of tense waiting at shelters before they were cleared to return home."

+ This warning wasn't an accident. This is what they were expecting


The Leftovers